"If I could store any character quality in a cookie jar, I'd store patience. Chocolate-chip patience cookies. And I'd eat them all at one sitting" - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale
I was looking for the perfect quote to start this week's post about patience, the whole time being a child of the 80's hearing Axl Rose's voice in my head, "just a little patience, yeaaahh yeahhhh". I'll admit I was starting to feel slightly tempted to just start off with Guns and Roses lyrics instead of taking the time to look for the perfect quote, then this one popped out at me. Once again, patience pays off.
Damn you patience!! Always right.
I love this quote, simply because I love chocolate chip cookies. And I lack patience. I also like eating lots of cookies in one sitting. Because sometimes, I want it all - RIGHT NOW!
Patience is a struggle for me. I do not like waiting for things to happen, especially when those things excite my spirit. New ideas, cool stuff, adventures, hanging out with friends, learning new stuff. Whatever it is. I want it now.
My yoga practice is sort of like that too. At the start of summer, I spent a lot of time working on some of the more "fancy" yoga poses, the circus tricks. The stuff that gets you noticed - back bends, arm balances and inversions. I was making great progress, and then I went to Whistler for Wanderlust. At Wanderlust, I found myself often at the brink of my own physical edge in simple standing postures, the very building blocks of a more advanced practice. I was seeing the effect of my "goal focused" practice - ignoring the foundation postures in my home practice in favour of seeking the glory poses. My foundation was weakening.
After Whistler, I stopped practicing the arm balancing and inverting for a while to focus on breath and stillness. I revisited a restorative practice and began looking at posture, tone, and rebuilding the foundation of my advanced practice. It was during this time that I thought I might try an arm balance or two to see how things have progressed, and I fell to the floor. All the progress I had made had gone. I felt like I had given up or failed by discontinuing my daily practice of the advanced postures. Fear, doubt, and self defeating thoughts crept in. I simply wanted success!
Two steps forward, one step back? Or in this case, many steps backward..... is there a step forward?
Patience. I recognize that yoga is my place to learn patience. Patience can be cultivated in my practice simply by honouring my body, and listening to what it is telling me on any given day. This requires being patient. It requires not needing everything right now. But it also requires dedication, not giving up because I am not getting the results I want quickly enough.
Isn't that the way we are though? We barely wait for anything now. Email has replaced the written letter, texting the personal phone call, when we want information it is most often right at our fingertips. Music instantly downloads, no more going to the record store to get the new Guns & Roses album and then waiting until you get home to hear it. When we want to lose weight, we turn to potions and powders or surgery rather than making real sustainable lifestyle change, which takes longer and requires patience and dedication.
My impatience gets me into trouble not only on my yoga mat, it's pretty pervasive in my life. I may venture to guess this is the case for others. Impatience takes us out of the present moment, situating us in an idealized future. It causes discontent with what is happening right now, but right now is where we start. Right now is where we can take a moment to breathe, reflect on what is happening, and react with a more patient and mindful approach. So, this week my practice is about stepping back and waiting. Breathing through the discomfort of not having what I want, when I want it. Respecting that building foundation is the key to manifesting the things I desire. Building foundation takes time. I'm pretty sure it's worth it.
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