What if, just for one day, we gave everyone we interacted with the benefit of the doubt?The guy who cut you off in traffic? Must be late for a very important appointment, or rushing to an emergency. Go right ahead, man.The rude woman ahead of you in line? Must be going through a really difficult family situation. Take your time.The person who appears rude on the internet? Must be new to online forums--her intentions were truly good. Let me answer your question politely and thoroughly.EVEN IF WE WERE WRONG... wouldn't this make our day that much better? - Whole9
I think we often allow our own feelings to be held captive by the actions of others. We tend to assume the worst about other people's intentions. What if we decided to think differently about people's intentions? If we decided to approach others with more compassion. Instead of the knee jerk response, we sat with our reaction for a moment and re framed our response. Even if we were wrong, like the Whole 9 post suggests, wouldn't we feel better?
We can approach our practice in this way too, by letting go of the assumptions we hold about ourselves. You've likely been in a challenging posture before, and have met with your "story", your inner dialogue that occurs each time you are there. Downward facing dog is this posture for me. This is how it goes:
"Okay, hands go here, feet go here, hips lift, oh! the shoulders, open, oh! the hands, ground. Core. Hips. Shoulders, oh, my shoulders are getting tired, I should be stronger than this. Why are my hamstrings so tight today? My feet usually get to the ground. Oh! I'm gripping my neck Hands. Feet. Shit!! I forgot to breathe. I hope this looks okay."
I might find some stillness after all of this, sometimes I have less crazy. Sometimes more. But, this is my story. My downward dog story.
I can learn a lot from this story. I can see how I resist the pose, how I resist "what is" as compared to "what I think should be", I can see how I doubt my own inner guide to bring me into the pose.
What if I approached Downward Dog more compassionately, with fewer assumptions? What if I found myself deeply curious about my experience here? I can begin to uncover the layers of thought I have placed upon myself. Thoughts that limit, that doubt, and that create tension in the mind.
The mind and the body are not separate entities. Whatever is happening in the mind, is also occurring in the body. As I meet resistance in the mind, I meet the same resistance in the body.I can decide from this point if I want to change my approach. Give myself the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I am strong enough and I'm just tired today. Maybe I know stillness here already. I might begin to trust myself when I find a more compassionate approach.
Practice is about exploration. My downward dog story is not exclusive to downward dog. It's my story in many other areas of my life, on and off the mat. Knowing this is where I can begin to let go of thoughts, ideas and concepts about myself that I hold on to, that may be limiting me in some way. That may be preventing me from finding stillness.
As you practice, pay attention. Be curious.
This curiosity can serve you well. Practice compassion, don't beat yourself up about this stuff, don't hold what you discover as your truth. Be kind to yourself and patiently allow yourself to let go of limiting thoughts, and habitual patterns that no longer serve you. Use the breath, as you breathe in, you create space and open yourself to possibility and newness, as you breathe out you let go, or let be.
As you start to cultivate compassion toward yourself, finding a more compassionate approach to all things is easier. You can give others the benefit of the doubt, just as you have begun to do with yourself.
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