"Teaching is useless, unless you can learn from your students"
-Martin Dansky
I have a student, Roberta, who has inspired me. She's inspired me personally, and has also inspired my teaching. Roberta came to her first Core Vinyasa class a couple of months ago. I would say that this class is probably the most challenging physical practice that I teach. The class is 90 minutes of challenging core focused vinyasa. It's a sweaty practice that often brings students to their physical edge. It's one of my favourite classes to teach. Roberta's first class was no exception. I led the students through the class, and like always, I didn't hold anything back. The sequencing was challenging, the pace was fast, and the sweat was flowing.
I know I shouldn't make any assumptions about my students, and in fact, Roberta's story has proven this to me in a very profound way. After class, I assumed Roberta would not return. She struggled through most of the class, unable to do many of the postures. I assured Roberta she could take breaks or rest, giving her a few options for modifications. I had to admit to myself, I was unsure of modifications we could make for Roberta's body type. With this being her first class, I tried to allow her to find her own pace and maybe if she were to return again, we could look at further modifications.
Roberta is overweight. Not just by a few pounds. By many pounds, and her size inhibits her ability to practice like most of us. Most postures need to be modified to work for Roberta's body size. I didn't expect to see Roberta back in class.
The next week, she did not return.
Two weeks later. Roberta was there. She walked in, with a friendly "hello" and a big smile. She went right to our prop room and pulled out a selection of props for herself. Class started, and I noticed that Roberta was self modifying every single posture on her own. She made it through class, with a little more ease than the first class. Yet, it was still clearly a struggle for her. You could tell she was determined though, and I can tell you that she practised to her edge, without a doubt. That is more than I can say for myself, sometimes, when I am faced with a challenging class.
After class, I commented on how awesome it was to see her back in class and asked about the modifications. Her reply gave me shivers. Roberta told me that she had spent the last couple of weeks searching the internet and watching you tube videos about modifications of yoga postures for people who were large. She had come to class prepared. Wow.
The following week, Roberta was back. She took out her props and made her way through another class. I told her again how inspired I am by her. And she said, "This is the year that I told myself I am allowed to suck at stuff". All I could think of to say was "and that alone, makes you not suck at all!".
I often hear, " I will practice when I lose weight", " I feel too fat to do yoga properly", "yoga is for thin people". YES! Asana practice is far more challenging when you are overweight. I think about how I often feel defeated by certain postures I am working toward accomplishing and how it must feel to find yourself struggling with almost every single posture. Roberta has shown me, that even though her yoga postures look different to mine, she is still practising a whole lot of yoga. She is practising contentment with her body, and with her ability. She is practising determination and self study. She is practising being here, NOW! She is not prolonging her joy of being on the mat, because the asana practice is difficult for her body.
"We don't use our body to get into a pose, we use our pose to get into our body"
-Bernie Clarke
This week, Roberta was back. And I saw her do the most lovely looking Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog). I felt so proud of her, and once again, so inspired by her dedication and willingness to grow as a practitioner. Roberta could have chosen an easier class to come to - like yin, or even level one. But, she has stuck with my core vinyasa class Saturday after Saturday. And to see her walk in to the room with her contagious smile, is really a joy for me.
My practice is about finding joy. I want to teach my students to look for joy and seek happiness on and off the mat. Happiness with the way life is, right now. Postponing happiness because you need to fix something first (ie lose weight) only prolongs unhappiness.
"The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness"
-lululemon
This isn't just about yoga. It is about life. We only have one shot at this, it seems crazy to waste our time being so caught up in our challenges or shortcomings that we forget to be where we are now. Each step should be a step forward - a step toward creating and living the life you want and being who you want to be. Roberta wanted to be a yogini, and she is.
