Goal Setting & Honouring the Process.

I'm pretty sure I've sat at this very space, several times over, several New Year's Days over - blogging.  Resolving to blog.  This year - I did resolve to blog.  Again.  Not daily, not even weekly.  But, to just make sure that I regularly write and share.  Writing is something I enjoy doing, but rarely take the time to do it.  Exception being the numerous hours a day I spend text messaging.

Goals - Resolutions.  January 1 is the time of year for change or the movement to change for many people.  Most often we strive to change something about ourselves that isn't serving us well, that makes us feel dissatisfied or is something that we feel is holding us back from true happiness.  

This morning, I read a wonderful post from Michael Moore on Facebook.  Last year Michael Moore started walking daily, and posted about it on social media.  Many of his fans joined him, virtually, on his nightly walks.  He wasn't walking to lose weight, to get fit or for any other purpose than to simply, walk.  He also wrote about the diet industry and how it is designed to make people feel less whole because they have a few extra pounds on them.  He summed up his post with this:

So, you can see from the photo of me up in the box that something has changed. I have no idea how much weight I've lost and I don't care. I don't care about that or diets or home gym equipment or rules about what I can or cannot eat or anything other than making sure I go on my walk today. That's it. That's the big secret. It costs nothing. I feel great. I can see my feet! There they are! Hello, feet! Wanna go for a walk? The feet say YES! Ask yours right now. And if you want, join me. But do NOT go on that walk with me if you are doing so to "get fit", "be healthy", or "lose weight". You are fine just the way you are. Only walk outside with me right now because you know it might just feel good, because it's a beautiful day, or someone is joining in with you, the fresh air is invigorating, you have to drive down to the drug store but you realize you can walk there, or simply because it's just nice to be alive for one more day. Walk to walk and nothing else -- and the other stuff will take care of itself.

Wow.  He's talking yoga.  "Walk because it might just feel good, because it's a beautiful day, or someone is joining you, the fresh air is invigorating... walk to walk and nothing else".   Experiencing the moment, as it is.  For what it is.  And be fully mindful that that is your purpose - to just experience.  To just BE walking.

Many of us are pondering the year that just passed, and many of us have our sights set on the upcoming year.  Our goals or resolutions might be dancing around in our minds as we embark on 2013.  Maybe we have fitness goals, or lifestyle goals, career goals in mind.  I happen to have plenty.

I have career goals - I look forward to a year of growth as a teacher.  I look forward to working with new & old students as we explore yoga together.  I also have very specific goals on where I would like to be a year from now.  Continue learning & continue sharing, find more people to share with & learn from!  Pretty simple.

I have personal goals - I need to get organized.  Period.

I have financial goals - I need to get organized. Period.

I have health & wellness goals - Be more intuitive in my approach to food. Continue learning & reading & sharing in this field.

I have spiritual goals - Be more present.  With my kids, with my friends.  Get outside more. Meditate. Breathe.

I have fitness goals - One legged Urdva Dhanurasana, you will no longer evade me in 2013.

I think we all want to improve where we are.  Goal setting is vital, in my opinion.  It's not something I've ever really committed to fully.  I have a general idea of what I want to do, where I want to be.  But, for the most part I've just allowed myself to meander down the path that is placed before me.  Diversions and all.

So - one would think that I come to this process of goal setting from a place of discontent.  I think many of us do.  I think about people who are wanting to lose a large amount of fat.  There is an obvious sense of discontent with their body as it is.

But - I think this approach to goal setting is misguided, and is a recipe for unhappiness.  The idea of setting goals because you envision a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  "If I can just do this, then I will be happy" takes your awareness away from your life as it is, now, in this moment.  Like Moore says, if you go on the walk because you want to lose weight, or get fit.  You miss the enjoyment of the walk.

When we set a goal, we need to set it from a place of contentment with where we are now.  We also need to honour the process of achieving the goal - and be fully present in the process.

If we beat ourselves up because we are not on the path we want to be, it's a hell of a lot harder to get to that path.  For example: meditating.  It drives me crazy that I'm a yoga teacher who has an abysmal meditation practice.  Heck, I've got an abysmal home practice.  I can beat myself up about this quite easily, "how can I encourage others to do something I don't practice? how can I even call myself a yogi? I need to start now, today"  etc etc.  Or I can recognize that the path to practice is not cut & dry.  Sometimes it'll be easy to find moments to sit down, or move around a bit.  Other times it'll be difficult.  I can decide to schedule time, I can plan how to achieve this goal.  But a dialogue of discontent will not a meditation practice make.

Instead - I need to decide that this is important to me.  It will be a beneficial thing in my life.  Then, I need to decide how I will achieve this goal.  Perhaps it'll mean setting a reminder on my phone, or prioritizing differently.  Once I decide on how - I need to honour that and just fricking do it!

Weight loss.  If you get caught up in a dialogue of , "I am fat, I am ugly because I am fat, I am not happy because I am fat, others dislike me because of this fat - but they would like me if I was thin - I can't go to yoga because I'm fat - I cant go to the gym because I'm fat" -   You will always be fat.  You are discontent with life, the fat is a symptom of that.

So - you are fat.  You want to be thin.  Why?  Really be honest with yourself.  Then throw out all of the reasons that are dictated by our culture, by others.  What is left?  Probably,  just that you want to be able to move easily and be in your body with ease.

Work on that - start moving your body.  As it is.  Walk! Go to a yoga class.  Go to a Zumba class!
Put on some music and dance in your kitchen!

Then work on being content as you are.  Stop seeing happiness as a thin body.  Or a clean house.  Or a balanced bank statement.  Or a $0 balance on your credit card bill.   Or a one armed pull up.

Then plan your path.  And BE on that path.  If you want to eat healthy - then ENJOY your food.  Learn about food, learn how to cook.  If you want to exercise - then find exercise you LOVE and do it - don't go to the gym and walk on the treadmill because you "should" do it, only do that if it is something that fills your cup as you do it.  If you want to be more present in life - then just be more present.  Find things to do, that you love to do.  If you want to balance your bank account - then make a commitment to yourself to make that a priority, and follow through on it.

And if there are hiccups along the way, understand that it is okay.  Don't beat yourself up.  Know that happiness does not lie in the achievement of your goal - happiness is RIGHT NOW!  Eating an entire box of cookies - doesn't mean you will not achieve your goal.  It just means you were diverted from your path, all you need to do is find your path again.  Don't dwell on the diversion.

"The secret of happiness is to open the crack between the past and the future, and live life in the moment we're in"  - Jinny Ditzler 

Of course, we all need tools to help us achieve our goals.

1. Good friends & family being number one.  People who love you for who you are,  right in this very moment.   Invaluable.
2. Apps - there are apps for everything!  Some of my favourite goal setting apps are "Lift" and "Bloom*" from the apple store.  I also love "The Now" app on my iphone, which sends push notifications reminding me to be present.
3. Yoga  - just get yourself to a class.  Trust me.
4. Books - I cannot suggest "Four Hour Cook" enough as my book of 2013.  Tim Ferriss has goal setting & achieving down to an art.
5. Journaling, Blogging - accountability.  Honour the process by sharing it with others, or recording it for yourself.  See your progress in black and white.

Wishing everyone a stellar 2013 filled with genuine happiness, lots of love, and yoga.!  Post to comments with your thoughts!

Namaste.

Practice.  
Take a bath, go for a walk or run, or just sit and find yourself fully present and aware of who you are.  Take some time to feel "you" - the you that has always been there, that part of you that has been the same since you were a child (since before you were born!), since your earliest memory.  Just be with yourself, as you are.  Recognize that this part of you is unchanged, it never changes.  It is who you REALLY are.  Make a commitment to get to know that part of yourself better, and express it to the world.