In a world full of Zombies... we NEED yoga.

This past week, like many others in typical October tradition,  we welcomed back Rick & his crew back into our living rooms.    My husband and I were admittedly a little bit nervous to watch the season premier of The Walking Dead this year, given the cliff hanger season finale.  We knew this meant the season would start off in a pretty grim manner.  The Walking Dead certainly didn’t disappoint.   As we watched, and grimaced,  we both said after the show ended, “Why on earth do we watch this?”.   I couldn’t help but wonder how television became so shockingly disturbing.    Don’t get me wrong, we’re both big fans of the show and this blog post isn’t going to be about how I think we should all get off the zombie train and start watching wholesome television again (though, I long for the days of Seventh Heaven....).

This blog post is about why I feel like yoga is becoming more and more necessary in our lives.

Truth is.  We are addicted to consuming.

We consume,  continuously, day in and day out.    We are constantly fed information via our smart phones, computer screens and televisions.  From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep at night.   We are addicted to the constant stimulation we receive from technology.    Every moment of quiet we find ourselves in, it isn’t long before we fill that space with social media, text messaging, email or television.

Moments of stillness are rare.

Because of this addiction, we have become desensitized to the information we are taking in.   In order for something to truly capture our attention, it has got to be sensationalized, extreme and exciting.   This is why, one of the most popular television shows in North America has to open it’s season with graphic imagery of a well loved character getting his/her (no spoilers here!!) head bashed in with a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat.    Our reptilian brain is not able to distinguish fact from fiction - so our psyche FEELS the stress of this scene as though it were actually happening and will protect us by going into a flight or fight response.   Eventually, with repeated exposure we become desensitized to the violence/gore/grief and will need an even MORE extreme scenario in order to actually feel an emotional response to what we are watching.    Because the reptilian brain has no way of knowing what is real or isn’t, when we view something equally disturbing but it is real  (images of war, poverty, destruction) - we are also desensitized to that as well.   Stressing our minds with media causes a stress response that is real to our primitive mind.    Our thinking brain can rationalize all it wants, but the physiological response to stress, the release of stress hormones happens when we are exposed to stressful images on television or social media.

Now think of the bombardment of media we have day in and day out - continuously.    What is this doing to us?   As we navigate through our  lives,  we are stimulated continuously.    Gone are the days of rotary dial telephones, rabbit ears on televisions, children playing outdoors, and family game nights (you know, those fun evenings where someone inevitably gets pissed off and tips the board!).   Replaced with endless notifications from cell phones, impossibly big screen tv’s with hundreds of channels and surround sound, children too afraid of killer clowns to play outdoors, and family sit around the tv while we snapchat our friends night.    Snippets of information,    continuous feeds, no real human connection.  When was the last time you just sat down and had a long conversation without looking at your phone every 10 minutes?

Perhaps the conclusion in all of this is that I’m officially old.  Lamenting days gone by.   I completely get that this is where we are.    This is what we’ve created.   We’ve created a need for television that  portrays rape in the name of entertaining us (West World, Game of Thrones), or that is exruciatingly violent  (I’m looking at you, Negan).  We created killer clowns, and Donald Trump.   Where our attention flows, energy goes.

Where our attention flows.... energy goes.

Ahhhh..... yoga.  

We need yoga.

Perhaps now, more than ever, in time the ancient yogis call the Kali Yuga. An age of spiritual decline that we are witnessing all around us right now.    Greed, immortality, violence, fear, destruction - all symptoms of spiritual decline.   Symptoms of a disconnection from Spirit.    The yogis predicted this age to last for many more years to come, and I believe, rather pessimistically, that it will get worse.    So, what can we do to live a healthy, full, connected life in the Kali Yuga?   Enter Tantra.   A practice for the age of spiritual decline.   A practice rooted in the belief of non rejection, of allowing our darkness a seat at the table of our awareness.   A practice designed to give us the tools, and spiritual grounding we need in the midst of the madness that surrounds us.   Tantra teaches us that the Divine is in everything, including the darkness.   That rejecting darkness is a rejection of Spirit.    Tantra teaches us awareness, infused with practice and ritual.   Tantra teaches us to be Still - so that we can be aware.  So that we can act from LOVE instead of fear.    Tantra teaches us to notice the subtle nuances of Being - to embrace every single part of it, and to enter into it all with equanimity and fearlessness.

Now is not a time for yoga to be extreme.    Hot yoga?  Just another symptom of needing extremes in order to just FUCKING FEEL SOMETHING.   What about the subtlety of our breath?   What about a simple inhale, raise the arms up, exhale, lower the arms down?  What about a gentle inquiry into the why, what, and how of our habitual patterns and behaviours?

An essential practice of Tantra is hatha yoga.    Hatha yoga includes the postures of yoga, breathing and meditation practices.  The purpose of hatha yoga is to open the body energetically so that we have a free flow of energy in the subtle body, allowing the egoic states of mind that prevent us from realizing our true Self to dissolve.   The embodied practice of yoga allows us to experience ourselves as a mind unified with the body.    This dissolution of mind into body gives rise to Spirit.    The essence of ourselves that is unchanging, constant and still.    Yoga creates the space to experience STILLNESS.  Stillness in the midst of the Kali Yuga.   Stillness in the midst of information overload.

Yes! Given our day to day over consumption of information, asking someone to sit down and focus on the breath can be downright torturous.   It seems like there are much better things to be doing, or much more interesting things going on than just the inhale and the exhale.   But, it’s necessary, in order to cope - we need yoga.  WE NEED YOGA.

We need to be conscious of our breath.  We need to be conscious of our movements.  We need to be still.  We need to be quiet.  We need to rest, with our eyes wide open so that we can See.  We need Spirit.    We need to return to this awareness, again and again.  We need to remind ourselves that we CREATE our reality.  We are the interface.  Not the smartphone screen, or the like button.  

You, alone.  

Inside the quiet space of your mind.  

Seated at the back of your head, accessed through a single conscious breath.  

You.  

Alone.

CREATE your reality.

Face it.   There could be a killer clown right outside my window.  Donald Trump isn’t going anywhere.  I’m going to watch the rest of this season of The Walking Dead.   My iphone is sitting beside me right now, and I have 7 tabs open on my browser.    I’m simultaneously writing this blog, texting friends, trying to explain why I think Donald Trump is as much a part of the failed system as Hillary Clinton is to a Trump apologist on Facebook,  and trying to motivate my media inundated 14 year old to spend more time studying and less time snap chatting.  

The solution is not rejecting reality.  The solution is practicing within it.   Instead of having 7 tabs open, pick one and focus on it.  Ignore the Facebook debate, it’s pointless, I can assure you. Spend time with your kids.    They need you.    Put down your phone and LOOK UP.    Take a deep breath.    Right now.   We need yoga more than ever.   Go to a yoga class.    Turn off and tune in.  Call up a friend, leave your phone at home and go out for coffee.    Read a book.    Drink a cup of tea.    Look at a tree.  

We need yoga more than ever.  

We need yoga.  

In a world full of Zombies.... we need yoga.

this side of the edge

“In the majority of yoga classes today, the object is to see how far you can go. You identify your “edge” and then see if you can go past it. Sometimes, this becomes an aggressive push where the teachers’ job is to see if they can take you farther than you think you can go on your own, to reach your fullest potential. Other times, it’s more friendly. We explore where the “edge” is and use props for support. But in both cases, the same underlying context remains. Whatever it is that you want from yoga is not on this side of your physical edge. If you want it, you’re going to have to forever do more.” - J. Brown “Yoga’s Marginal Utility”, Yoga Dork 

J. Brown posted this article last week on Yoga Dork.   The article spoke to a topic I had been thinking about quite a lot recently and I had been trying to articulate a disconnect between how I taught yoga and how it was being received or interpreted by my students.    I was thinking about the authenticity of our practice especially in relationship to how we teach & learn yoga, the proliferation of cliche in teaching language, the expectations we have on ourselves and our students and the actual internal experience of practice all within the framework of modern yoga being part of a egoic, goal driven, fitness based consumer culture.   This quote, in particular, seemed to summarize a lot of what I had been thinking about and is a starting point for this discussion which I hope to develop over the course of a few blog posts.  Your thoughts and comments are welcomed and appreciated as I share this dialogue with you.

A few weeks ago, I posted a question on social media asking, “What do you REALLY think when you practice yoga?”.    Knowing full well, that the things I ask my students to focus on might not be what is really happening in their heads.   Most of the posts addressed the challenges they face when they meet with difficult postures in class, or the challenge of staying present and focused. When challenged, students experienced a wide range of emotions from self criticism to anger and frustration.  They also experienced shame and defeat.   They all agreed the feelings were most often resolved through practice, and many enjoyed the challenges presented by practice.

I don’t think these are unusual challenges.   I do think the negative self talk about these challenges is a problem, and I believe that our socialization has a lot to do with this.    We are a consumer culture, and we are led to believe through media advertising that we are not strong enough, not beautiful enough, not rich enough, not thin enough, not happy enough, not (insert any descriptor here) enough. When we are presented with challenges, we see where our reality is not meeting our expectation.   As a result we may feel feelings such as anger, frustration and defeat.  I know I’ve felt many of these emotions on the mat, and have taught that the emotions we see on the mat provide us with an important learning tool for our experience off the mat.   What the negative emotions tell me is that our “never good enough” culture comes to yoga class with us, and rears it’s ugly head when we are challenged on the mat.

We are practicing yoga in a culture that markets happiness in the form of consumer products.  Marketing messages tell us that in order to be “complete” we must spend money to improve our lives.   Stemming from this is the subconscious (or perhaps conscious) belief that when we spend money, we ought to be “doing” something or experiencing noticeable improvement in our level of happiness which is closely tied in to how we look, feel, and live.  We are “doing” yoga in order to achieve the desired result of a healthier, happier life.

It’s quite clear that modern western yoga has not escaped the pull of consumer culture.   When I speak of modern western yoga, I’m primarily addressing a yoga culture that is “post Madonna’s arms”.    What I mean by this, is the culture of yoga that erupted after Madonna announced that her primary form of “toning” was her yoga practice.    I’d argue that this is the first time in pop culture we’d really seen strength and tone as a desirable physical trait for women’s bodies.   I recall so clearly having conversations with my friends about how bad ass Madonna looked, and I remember thinking that yoga must be pretty magical to have produced such “long and lean” looking muscle.   I believe this is the start of the current “yoga trend” in all of it’s ebbs & flows over the last twenty (give or take a few) years.




I believe the conversation  I want to have begins here.   Yoga has been thrown into the limelight as an “alternative” to the gym that is just, if not more, effective at producing noticeable results in the physical appearance of those who practice.    Many people come to yoga with the understanding that it is a form of physical exercise, and in many cases I believe that misconception has been upheld, if not reinforced in the collective understanding of the practice.

My own experience of yoga has been framed by this cultural misconception, although I am fortunate to have teachers who understand the yoga tradition and who make a conscious choice to teach philosophy, pranayama & meditation in their studios.   I believe many of us who find their way to teaching eventually make an effort to “educate” others about the misconceptions of what it means to practice yoga.   Some of us in really authentic ways, and others in a more cliche, feel good, ultra-spiritual way.   I expect that most of us who have chosen to teach yoga have found themselves saying multiple times, in multiple ways “yoga is not just about the poses”, or “yoga is more than asana”, or “there are many components to yoga, not just the physical practice - there’s philosophy, spirituality, meditation, pranayama”.... etc etc.   In fact, this entire blog exists as a tool for me to continuously tell readers again and again, “yoga is a lifestyle” (those of you familiar with Erich Schiffman’s voice should read that last sentence in his Californian drawl, “yoga is a lifestyyyyyylllllle”)

Yet, despite our attempts (and arguably many successes) to inform those who practice yoga of it’s far reaching lifestyle effects, yoga has been “consumed” by capitalism and has been turned into a marketable product.   From $1000 leather yoga mats (yes, really) to a booming yoga fashion industry, to classes for every possible niche market, selling the “yoga lifestyle” has become big business creating a consumer of yoga who is expecting a quantifiable return on their investment.

Don’t get me wrong, many of us get ample return on our yoga dollar.  In fact, I’m guessing that many of us have seen life changing growth as a result of yoga.   I’m also guessing that none of us could say that that growth came easily, or without a degree of dedication to practice, self reflection & study, and time.   The impact yoga has made on my life is profound.

Understanding the cultural context within which we practice is an important part of this discussion.    It explains why I believe we are so obsessed with finding our physical edge in practice.    Many of us are familiar with the terminology “the edge” or “playing the edge” first coined by Joel Kramer and featured heavily in Erich Schiffman’s book “The Spirit and Practice of Moving into Stillness” .   While I am not arguing for a need to stop practicing in this way, I am arguing that this approach to practice takes on a different meaning when it is framed within the context of consumer driven yoga culture.

I’ve often taught that the magic happens outside of our comfort zone.    I’ve taught students to explore their edges, I’ve believed my entire yoga practice and teaching career that this is HOW we DO yoga.    I’ve believed, as J. Brown states above, “whatever it is you want from yoga, is not on this side of your physical edge”.   It was this incredible “a-ha" moment (to stick with the Oprah pop culture referencing a while longer) for me when I read J. Brown’s post.    Is it true?  Is ALL the magic in our practice on the opposite side of our edge, and what of this side of the edge?  Is the comfort, familiarity, and even boredom that resides in the “comfort zone” purposeless, and without meaning?

What about the beauty of a simple mountain pose, or a gentle inhale & exhale as your arms lift and lower?  Leslie Kaminoff argues that the most life changing aspect of our practice is the coordination of breath and movement.   What if the essence of our practice doesn’t even touch what we consider to be our physical edge?  And how can we market such simplicity?  ( although I expect lululemon could find a way to market the “sukhasana pant" if yogis were no longer in need of high tech, silver infused,  sweat wicking fabrics for their practice)

I expect that backing off from the edge is going to be a tough sell.   If yoga is a marketable product, complete with a promise of better health, improved physical appearance, happiness, and inner peace then those who invest in this product will surely expect that they have to “do something” in order to receive the benefit.   Simply “being” is not going to feel productive.   Telling students to pull away from effort, discomfort, or challenge wouldn’t jive with the goal based fitness based model we’ve placed around our practice.   Perhaps, at the end of the practice, once all the hard work is finished we can sell a 5 minute restful savasana if we are lucky.

This speaks to what I’ve identified as the fundamental disconnect between western consumer culture and the yoga tradition.   As long as we are making a living teaching yoga, we will also have to “sell” what we teach.   We will have to “market” yoga so that it appeals to the modern consumer.    Consumers that exist in a post Darwinian “survival of the fittest” culture where we can purchase the life that we want to live.    And how ironic that we are “selling” something that is fundamentally in opposition to the culture we live in.    Yoga teaches us to contain our energy, refrain from harming, to consume less, and to practice contentment as opposed to the "full on, eco-unconscious, consumer & ego driven desire to succeed at all costs culture" that is our market base.

The question those of us who are making a living teaching & selling yoga need to ask ourselves is, “Are we authentic on this path?”.   Are we guiding our students blindly down the same path we’ve been socialized to walk down from day one?  or can we honestly say that the yoga we teach (and sell) is carving out a new way of life, one that is true to the tradition, to ourselves, and to the individual?  Do we ask our students to meet their edge, because we truly believe that the thing they seek in yoga is forever going to be on the other side of their comfort zone?   Are we perpetuating the belief that if they can just “get better at the poses” then somehow, magically, their life will also improve?

J. Brown has started an important conversation for yoga practitioners and teachers alike.   As we move forward in our practices, in our teaching, and sharing of yoga with a culture that becomes more and more connected, visible, and externally motivated, how do we ensure that the essence of yoga as something we can “be” rather than something we “do” is understood?

Next time you are on the mat, I encourage you to look at your own inner dialogue.  Discover what the voice in your head tells you when you are at your physical edge.    Notice if you experience a strong desire to push yourself to your edge, or if you are able to back away from your physical edge to practice simply for the pure pleasure of being present in your body.    Notice your relationship between “being” and “doing” while you are on the mat.   Extend that noticing to your experiences off the mat as well.    I expect you might discover something interesting in that exploration, and perhaps create a deeper understanding of how you’ve been taught, or habituated, on and off the mat.  First as a results based, goal driven consumer and second as a practitioner of yoga within that context.  

When Feelings Happen...

So, there’s this meme circulating out there:

I always laugh at this one.   It speaks to the idea that yoga should be magic.   That, if we do yoga, and meditate, and all of the other “stuff” that we do to placate our emotions, we should be blissful, happy and certainly NEVER want to smack someone.   But, I know the reality is far different.   The reality is that our buttons still get pushed, we get triggered and we react in less than “yogic” ways.   Maybe over time & with practice, there is more awareness around the reaction and more ability to be conscious of how we react.  But, I think it’s pretty safe to say that once in a while, we’ll get triggered and we’ll think and say stuff that is unkind, untrue and unhelpful.  

So.  Why do all the yoga then?  I think the problem lies in our misinterpretation of yoga.   For some reason, we feel like if we get on our mat and breathe a little, and do a few postures, maybe a little meditation that we will suddenly become better people.   

It doesn’t work that way.   I explain this to my students using the Yoga Sutras.  There are four sutras that I like to reference  often in my teaching.  These four sutras outline how I approach practice, with the clear understanding that a casual approach (while still helpful while you are on the mat, and it still feels good) isn’t going to create the profound life changing shifts that are possible through yoga.   

Sutra 1. 2

Yogas città-vrtti-nirdha

Yoga is the stilling of the changing states of mind. 

 Sutra 1.12 

Abhyasa-vairagyabhyam tan-nirodhah 

The vritti states of mind are stilled by practice & dispassion. 

Sutra 1.14 

sa tu dirgha-kala-nairantarya-satkarasevito drdha-bhumih

Practice becomes firmly established when it has been cultivated uninterruptedly and with devotion over a long period of time. 

Sutra 2.1 

tapah-svadhyayaesvara-pranidhanani kriya-yogah

The path of action (practice) consists of self discipline, study and dedication to the Lord. 

(Translations are from Edwin Bryant’s translation of the Yoga Sutras, North Point Press 2009) 

The first Sutra tells us that the state of yoga is a stilling of the mind.   It is when our mind is not still, that we tend to react, lash out or have thoughts that are unkind, untrue and unhelpful.   The second sutra explains that in order to still the mind we must practice as well as let go.   We can’t expect a stilling of the mind to happen unless we practice, and at the same time we also have to let go of our expectations that brought us to practice in the first place.   Future states of mind are not real, so let go of that!   Come to NOW, and let go of that too because every single moment is a new now to let go of.  That is the practice.   Keep coming back & letting go.   The third sutra explains that in order for this to work, you’ve got to keep doing it over a long period of time.  You can’t come to a yoga class once a week, then skip a week or two, and then maybe come back and expect yoga to actually change you.   Continued practice over time is key!  

Finally - the kicker is the explanation of what practice actually is.   It’s threefold.  And I like to use Leslie Kaminoff’s explanation for this one.   This sutra is like the Serenity Prayer.   "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

acceptance = surrender, or ishvara pranidhanani (devotion to the Lord) 

courage = tapah (self discipline, effort) 

wisdom = svadhyaya (study) 

My attraction to this sutra underlies my teaching & my personal practice.  I believe it to be the foundation for creating lasting & profound shifts in thinking & experience.   It is here, we find the magic of yoga.   Unlike most magic - this is slow moving, difficult, and transparent magic.   It’s the daily grind of yoga.   And the thing about yoga is... if you have an expectation of anything happening, or become attached to things being a particular way it gets in the way of your practice.   Remember Sutra 1.12?  Practice, and then let go.  Take each moment for what it is.   Then let it go.  Again and again.... 

So - how does this all tie into feelings?  

Say you get triggered.  This happened to me this past week.  Something set me off on a wild rampage of fear, anger and sadness.   My mind was racing and full of unkind, untrue and unhelpful thoughts.   One could say, I was experiencing the opposite of yoga.  I was experiencing EGO.   The changing states of mind took over.   

Thing is.  When you are experiencing stress.   You have a few options: 

Option 1: You can totally buy in.  You can victimize yourself, and you can dive right into the depths of despair.   It’s actually pretty easy to do this.   Just let go to it, lash out, wallow, judge.   If you’ve got some self awareness, you might judge your emotions and get really stuck here.   (hint:  if you choose this option or found yourself in this option, try not to judge yourself and your feelings.   Skip to option 3 right away!) 

Option 2: You quote the Bhagavad-Gita stoically and say, “A yogi is alike in hot and cold, pleasure and pain” and you just ride it out, focused on that still calm quiet mind.  Wait, what? A still calm quiet mind?   This option might be best saved for someone living in a cave... I’m more partial to Krishna’s urging of Arjuna to “fight this battle” in the Gita - even if it feels gross.   See option 3.  

Option 3: You can FEEL THE FEELS.   In her book, “Come as You Are” (Simon & Schuster 2015), Emily Nagoski explains how to manage stress effectively.  She explains that when we feel stress, we need to create space to allow the stress response cycle to play itself out.  She explains the importance of feeling the feels.  

“Emotions are like tunnels”, she writes, “ You have to walk all the way through the darkness to get to the light at the end” (p. 122)

“Our emotion dismissing culture is uncomfortable with Feels.  Our culture says that if the stressor isn’t right in front of us, then we have no reason to feel stressed and so we should just cut it out already.  As a result of this most people’s idea of  “stress management” is either to eliminate all stressors or to just relax, as if stress can be turned off like a light switch. “ (p.121)

“...our ultra social human brains are really good at self-inhibition, stopping the stress response mid cycle because, “Now is not an appropriate time for Feels”.  We use this self-inhibition in order to facilitate social cooperation - i.e. not freak anybody out.  But, unfortunately, our culture has eliminated all appropriate time for Feels.  We’ve locked ourselves culturally, into our own fear, rage, and despair.  We must build time, space and strategies for discharging our stress response cycle” (p. 121)

“ ...pay attention to your patterns of self-inhibition, and identify places and people who create space for you to have Feels... everyone needs at least one place in their life where they can just Have All The Feels without worrying about being judged or freaking people out.  Find that place and those people” (p.123) 

“Feelings aren’t dangerous... though they can be used dangerously.  One of the central messages in emotion dismissing meta-emotions [how you feel about the feelings] is that feelings are inherently dangerous - toxic and hurtful to yourself and the people around you.   People may believe this if they grew up in a world where people used feelings to injure or manipulate others - and using your feelings to deliberately hurt people is against the rules.  Most important: You’re not allowed to used your own feelings to injure or manipulate yourself! (self compassion)” (p.319)

 So back to me.   I freaked out about something.    Even though, I practice some kind of yoga or meditation DAILY.  I still freaked out.   And this time, I was okay with it.   I just let myself feel the feels, think the thoughts, say the things, and be in pain.   My teacher,  Layla Martin, validated this so beautifully for me, “it’s a primal threat that runs deep through the system and triggers ancient patterning around survival, abundance, specialness and power”.   How is that for completely and totally validating the FEELS??  How can you stop a primal reaction?  You can’t really.   Resisting would be futile, don’t resist.   Don’t use your feelings to HURT other people, or yourself.  Just feel.   Give yourself space to do this.  

So, I felt.   I felt anger, and sadness, and fear.   I felt it all.   And I thought unkind, untrue and unhelpful thoughts.   And I reacted and acted in "non yogic" ways.    And then, I did the most important part of the process of moving through emotions.   I let the cycle play out by returning to my practice.

Self study.   Or svadhyaya.   After taking Option #3 and FEELING the feels, I opted to come back to my practice.   Surely, this would still my mind.   I didn’t get on the mat.   I got out my Byron Katie worksheet and INQUIRED.   I wrote out all of the unkind, untrue and unhelpful thoughts and I brought them to inquiry.

Byron Katie’s work is profoundly life changing.   It’s the missing piece of our modern westernized yoga practice.    We MUST work with the mind in conjunction with the body.  The mind can change, quickly and so working with the mind gives us a relative sense of peace immediately.   Because the mind is quick to change, it can unchange quickly too.   Which is why the physical practice is also important.  The body is slower to change, and our physical practice alone can create big shifts in the way our body stores the energy of our thoughts.   If we combine the physical postures, with the mind practices, the changes are locked in to our tissues thus complimenting our mind space rather than contradicting.   Indeed, Patanjali agrees... yoga is more than just self discipline.  It is self study & surrender too.  Both the mind and body are important - we know this from understanding Patanjali's "8 Limbs of Yoga" which clearly show a mind body practice.  Moral discipline, posture practice, breath practice & meditation are all present in Patanjali’s 8 limbs.  

Knowing I couldn’t change the reality of my situation.  I put it to Inquiry instead using Byron Katie’s work instead.    Four questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it is true? (hint, it’s never true)

3. How do you feel when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

After you answer these questions, you turn your statements around and find ways in which the turnaround statements are true.    This is a meditation.  It requires time.  But, it can create really profound shifts, helping you to walk through the tunnel and emerge on the other side with a new perspective.   When you realize that you’d be a loving, happy, carefree person without the thoughts - the choice to change your thoughts is quite easy.

After I finished “The Work”, I did a few embodiment practices to lock in the mind practices.   Layla Martin’s “Obliss” course has some wonderful practices that can lock in or shift the body away from stagnant unhelpful patterning.  The first practice I worked with was “Transfiguration”.   I imagined myself AS the woman I wanted to be.  A woman who had loving, supportive, and kind thoughts.   It is a powerful and highly effective tool for changing your perception of who you are.   It shows you that what you desire is already what you ARE!   Then I did another practice called “Emotional Theatre” - cycling through emotions for a minute at a time.  Anger, grief, pleasure, silliness, and joy.    Feeling each one FULLY for a minute, acting out the emotion intuitively.   The idea is to release any stagnant or low vibration emotions that are residing in you.  It works!

I hate to be the one to break it to you.   But, getting on your mat every once in a while will NOT create the profound shifts you are hoping for when it comes to managing stress & emotion.   Yoga is work.   You gotta dig in, feel the feels (even if you FEEL like smacking someone) and then move through the tunnel.   When you come out on the other side, things will be different.   Some tunnels are long, some are short.   But, there is always a light at the end.

To do Byron Katie’s Work: CLICK HERE 
To check out Layla Martin: CLICK HERE  

Does this feel overwhelming or perhaps it has spoken to your spirit in some way?  Do you want to learn how to transform your physical yoga practice into a LIVING yoga practice?  Book a private session with me, either online or in person and I can facilitate your practice using the foundation described above.   I’ll help facilitate you through movement (embodiment) practices combined with the profound understanding, appreciation and LOVE for your humanity, and guidance toward self study.  All tools that can help you grow!  This is my practice and I want to share it with you!

Maybe you want a more in depth experience?  Join my Teacher Training Mentorship program and work one on one with me for a year!  At the end you’ll have your 200 hour yoga teacher certification as well as the tools to create a solid self practice.

To book a private yoga class: CLICK HERE 
To learn more about our apprenticeship program, or to apply: CLICK HERE 

  

I want to try yoga, but I’m not sure where to begin....

With yoga continuing to gain popularity in the mainstream, more and more people are becoming intrigued by the practice.   From seeing images of super human strength, to hearing about how yoga can improve just about every problem you might have - it is becoming clear that this practice might have something to it.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in 2013 showing impressive core strength with this yoga pose.

I’m writing this to tell you that there really is something to this yoga thing.   I’ve been practicing yoga for about 8 years now and have been teaching for close to 6 years.    I can honestly say that over the course of the last 8 years, yoga has undoubtedly changed my life.    For the better.  

Yoga has changed my life in a very simple, but profound way.   It has given me awareness.   It has held up a mirror to me time and time again.    A mirror that hasn’t always been very easy to look into.   Yoga has shown me Truth, it has infused my life with gratitude and it has provided an exciting & perfectly challenging path on which I can meander along each and every day.   Yoga has made my body strong and supple and has shown me the value of appreciating & accepting impermanence.  

A few other things I’ve learned along the way:  

Yoga is not a cure all.   The yoga media might lead us to believe it is, offering practices for anything and everything.   Any magical claim that “yoga healed my (insert malady of choice here)" made by yoga practitioners doesn’t show me how powerful yoga poses are, but rather they show me how powerful the human mind/body connection can be.   The yoga poses themselves are not magical - but I’m certain that humans ARE magical.   We have the choice to believe in the magic or not.   (think Tinkerbell here)  

Yoga is hard work.    Patanjali says in the Yoga Sutras that in order for yoga to work, it has to be practiced regularly over a long period of time.    The magic of yoga lies in your dedication to the practice.   You can’t just meditate once and expect that you’ll find thoughtless bliss.   It’s a practice.   You can do this practice at home, or you can find a local studio with qualified teachers that can help you develop your practice.     Once you start, you might notice big changes right away - you’ll feel the “magic” of your efforts.   The key to lasting transformation is to keep going!  If you like it, if it resonates with you then stay with it.   I can assure you it is worthwhile! 

Yoga is really easy too.    You can do it right now.    Close your eyes.   Take a deep breath, focus on how it feels to breathe deeply.   Then follow the breath with your mind's eye as you exhale.    Just one conscious breath is yoga.      On the days where it feels really hard to get on the mat to practice or to sit for a long meditation - know that yoga is only one conscious breath away.   Applying mindfulness to any activity is yoga.    Even doing the dishes!  

You might be thinking “This sounds great! I want to be magical too!  I want to try yoga, but I have no idea where to start!” 

Starting yoga could be as easy as popping  a video onto your computer at home.    You could also check out a local yoga studio.   Sometimes a studio's class descriptions are a blur of information and some studios offer so many classes that it is confusing to know where to begin.  My suggestion would be to contact the studio directly and ask which class is best for a beginner to attend.   

Our upcoming spring schedule has a variety of options for you to choose from - and I am going to explain what each of these options are so that you know what you are getting into when you register for a class at Surya Yoga in Indian Head.   

April 2016 Surya Yoga Schedule 

 If you are BRAND new to yoga - my suggestion would be to start with the Yoga Basics for EveryBODY.  This is a 6 week program that is accessible, informative, and gentle enough for anybody.   We learn the foundation of the practice here.   This means that we will work on the poses you will find most often in classes,  we will work on building strength, and softening into mobility.   This class will also provide a foundation for understanding the role of the breath in yoga as well as the basics of starting a meditation practice.   Anyone can do this class!   

If you are new to yoga, or if you’ve been practicing for a while, the Meditative Deep Stretching class is a wonderful class for you.  This class is ideal for people who regularly experience stress in their lives, athletes,  yogis who often practice more strenuously, anyone who wants to learn how to cultivate relaxation and body awareness,  pregnant women, and those who have injury and need a more mindful and adaptable practice.   The postures in this practice are based on the Yin style of yoga - most of the postures focus on release through the torso and in particular, the hips and hamstrings.   The intent of this practice is to identify the experience of sensation or tension in the body and learn how to relax into the sensation gently and mindfully.   The purpose of this class is to improve flexibility with a focus on how the mind relates to the body.    The practice is slow with lots of opportunity for personalized instruction and guidance.   

If you want a gentle approach to practice, and have daytime availability,  come check out our Gentle class on Wednesday mornings.  This is an accessible, adaptable practice that focuses on improving strength and mobility as it’s foundation.   Aches and pains?  This is definitely the class for you.   

If you want to combine your fitness time with your yoga time - but also want to remain mindful and connected to your body then join us for Extreme Core Strength Yoga or Power Yoga.    

Extreme Core Strength yoga is ideal for anyone!  It is a very challenging practice, and you should be prepared to work hard and sweat.    Luckily, it is also only 45 minutes!   The class involves a variety of core strength yoga postures & movements combined with breath & energy awareness.   We use the power of the core to fuel strength through the entire body!  You will not believe how incredible you will feel when you begin to tap into this amazing source of strength.   After adding core strength postures to my regular practice, I have noticed a distinct difference in how many postures feel to me and often in pleasantly surprising and unexpected ways!   You can never underestimate the importance of a strong core!  It can and will transform your practice!   

Power Yoga is a more challenging practice and not ideal for beginners.   Although, if you are in decent shape and up for a challenge, Janelle is able to guide all levels through this practice so that nobody is unable to enjoy this faster paced breath focused flow.   Power Yoga focuses on strength through movement and is one of the most popular styles of yoga.   

In May, we will have even more options for you!  We will be starting a Mens Yoga class - a class just for men that will focus on building strength through a simple vinyasa style practice.   I’ll also be rolling out my new class on Saturday mornings.  This class will be a little more on the unpredictable side as I explore my personal practice with you.   Every class will include a bit of philosophy to set the theme (usually an exploration of what I’m currently reading/ studying) and a posture practice that will change, and evolve with the intent of digging into the myriad of possibility offered by the yoga tradition.  I can assure you that the practice will always be a flow style vinyasa practice - because that’s my favourite way to teach!   Details for this drop in class (starting on April 23 ) will be announced soon!   We also look forward to offering one more session of Kids Yoga before the summer begins.  

Tell me in the comments below - what is your favourite yoga class?   If you are new to yoga, what class do you think you will try?  

To register for these classes, send me an email message.    For more information about our studio or the class dates, times & prices visit our website.

If you are in Regina - join me at Argyle Park for classes.  Level 1 is just like “Yoga Basics for Everybody” and Level 2 is just like the Saturday morning class here!    Details found here.  

  

Are you authorizing imbalance? A reflection on our busy lives & our practice.

I’ve written about balance before, a couple of times.   It seems to be a theme in my writing & teaching, and is probably indicative of where I tend to struggle most in my personal practice (and life).   A practice of trying to find the balance between busy & manageable, between a quiet mind & chatter, between effortful action & relaxation.   I share this with you as part of my own practice - a continuous endeavour consisting of effort to change while letting go of expectations & patterns.

As we settle into February, and the New Year’s resolve is beginning to wear thin - our familiar, comfortable habits and patterns begin to creep back in.  We allow a little more sugar back into our diet, the trips to the gym or to a yoga class begin to drop down the priority list, and the household organization project comes to a standstill.   What’s changed?   Yoga philosophy can give us some clues as to how we slide back into patterned behaviour, and perhaps provide us with a framework for lasting transformation.

According to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra, the practice of yoga consists of three components.  The first component to our practice is something called “tapas”.  Translated, tapas means “heat".   It is how we describe the effort we use to continue working on the process of self transformation.  It means the prioritization of our yogic practices.   The second component is “svadhyaya”.  Translated, svadhyaya means “self study”.     To study the self means to explore the inner landscape of the mind and experience of the body in order to discover patterns of behaviour and of movement that keep us from experiencing stillness.  Stillness, or yoga, is a state in which we experience the true nature of the self as unchanging, unaffected, pure awareness.  We achieve such a state by controlling “vritti” or the fluctuations of the mind through our practice (tapas).   The final component of our practice is “Isvara Pranidanah”.   Translated, this means “surrender to the Lord”.   In terms of our yoga practice this refers to the role of “Grace”.  To surrender, we understand that there is a flow to our lives that is ultimately going to offer us the experiences through which we can pursue the highest task of self Realization.  The Universe, as one might think, is not out to get us.   That whatever happens is as it is, and as such is perfectly unfolding in every moment.    To resist would be futile.

Yet,  the paradox is such that although the Universe unfolds as it should, it also unfolds as we consciously or unconsciously allow it to.    We can understand that our “karma”  is a groove in which we can spend our entire lifetime, and left unexamined that groove will remain unchanged.   Upon “waking up”  through the practice of yoga or mindfulness we can begin to enact free-will to help us break us free of our karmic patterning offering an opportunity for freedom or self Realization.   The deprogramming from the Matrix can begin.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that once you understand that you are not your patterned behaviours & thoughts that they won’t still impact you daily.   Shit will still happen!  We are working with lifetimes of karmic patterning here.   What we can recognize is that the Realization of the Divine aspect of the Self allows for a deeper allowance of Grace that can facilitate our transformation process.

Channeled Guru, “Rajpur”, has a wonderful body authorization phrase that I’ve been working with lately.   In class, I often ask students about what experience they are authorizing in their body, be it consciously or unconsciously.   The intent of this statement is to allow practitioners  to recognize that while the patterns of the body mind might be comfortable, familiar, and deeply entrenched, they are also changeable if they are not in service of our transformation.   When the patterns are in conflict with our "perfect functioning", it can and should be our intent to change them.  

"I authorize my body to release whatever is not necessary to its perfect functioning and I withdraw any prior conscious or unconscious authorization to the contrary” - Rajpur 

A powerful statement.   It is a brilliant and empowering sentence that immediately gives the practitioner control over their body.    According to Rajpur, this authorization statement “reminds you that your are not at the mercy of anything else, that you are in authority.  This does not mean that you are in authority as a little ego.  But it means rather that as the direct expression of the Father/Mother, you are inviolable. And if you are inviolable then you are in authority relative to what is true about you.  Nothing else is” ("Gathering with Rajpur", Ashland, Oregon, 1989, taken from the Erich Schiffman Freedom Yoga teacher training manual)

I authorize my body to release, and I withdraw any prior conscious or unconscious authorization.   What do you authorize?   Do you authorize habitual patterns of tension?  Or do you authorize relaxation?  Do you authorize your “story” about weakness, pain, difficulty?  Or do you authorize choice?

Which brings me back to balance.    The physical practice of balance perfectly illustrates how we should practice yoga.    We need to be effortful, to arrange the body in a way that best facilitates balance.   We can align, utilize our core, and otherwise train our body to move in a particular way to help find balance.   This requires practice and some degree of effort.    We also need to be aware of our “story” of balance or imbalance and be very clear on how our ego wants us to be a particular way.   Do we authorize imbalance by believing we are “not good at balancing”?  What if we authorized an experience free of judgement?  The success or failure of balance not being the key factor, but rather the fearlessness of trying instead.      Finally, a surrender to the innate desire of our body to simply just “Be” in balance.    The body will make calibrations seeking balance without much influence consciously from us .   We can trust this, or we can fight it.   The fighting will come from believing that the external experience of balance is more important than the internal Truth of Balance.

We can carry this same Truth off the mat as well.   Particular when we are attempting to find balance in our daily lives.   How often do we put our practice or something similar (a healthy diet, home organization etc) on the back burner thinking that we are “too busy”? Busyness exists because we authorize it’s existence.   When we believe we are busy, we are.   When we step back and recognize that the busyness isn’t the problem, it is instead our prioritization process that is the problem, we can begin to shift our experience.    If something truly is a priority, and the process of self transformation certainly can be considered a valuable priority, then there will be time. Stop authorizing busy.   Balance can be facilitated by aligning one’s life in such a way that we are truthful with our priorities.  We have done the investigation and have decided what we know to be important and as such we align our time with that in mind.   From there, we can recognize that our natural state is already perfectly balanced.   When we know what is true on the inside, it can be more obviously reflected on the outside as well.

Ultimately, yoga is a process that moves us inward.    We have external practices, but in the end, the path of yoga is a movement toward the recognition that all that we seek, we already are.     As we practice we will begin to notice the quiet, still, alway present aspect of ourselves.  This is the witness, the unchanging, always present awareness that lies above our thoughts.    When we rest in this awareness, we will become aware of our true nature.  Perfectly balanced, perfectly functioning, and perfectly at ease.    And isn’t that what we are all looking for?

This is MY yoga body.

This is my yoga body.   It is not the kind of yoga body you’d see in the pages of Yoga Journal, or advertising high priced yoga clothing.   It is mine.  My yoga body is capable, it is stretch marked & scarred, it is dimply and tattooed.   My yoga body loves deeply, and pleasures greatly.  My yoga body has grown and nursed three babies and continues to provide warmth and softness to three girls who are growing up far too quickly.

My yoga body holds a little bit of extra weight because I eat food that nourishes me, fills me, and makes me feel comforted - plants only.  My yoga body makes the conscious choice not to eat the bodies of other beings.   After many years of yo-yo dieting, binge eating, food restriction, and stress about eating the “optimal” diet - my yoga body is no longer worrying about how many carbs, fats & proteins I eat and is now making conscious healthy choices to eat food that feels nourishing, is healthy and is whole.

Some days my yoga body feels strong and capable and other days it feels like lead.   Some days getting on the mat is easy, and other days it feels defeated by practice.   My yoga body struggles with meditation.   My yoga body has been labelled ADHD - because it is creative, energetic, passionate, and there are way too many ideas happening (all the time)!   I’d not have it any other way.

When I get on my mat, my yoga body brings me to stillness, and my movement becomes a meditation.   My yoga body’s thoughts fall to the background and I feel so alive, so free, and so LUCKY to have this body.

I’m not going to criticize my yoga body for not being what I think it should be, for not looking like the media tells me it should.   I’m not going to deprive my yoga body of the love it deserves, and the nourishment it needs.   Because this body is housing something awesome  - it’s housing Me!  It’s the temporary embodiment of my Being.   Temporary.   Why would I spend so much time hating, criticizing, and wishing my body were something different to what it is?  My yoga body allows me to experience life on earth - the great joys, and the deepest sorrows.  My yoga body takes me to incredible places and introduces me to incredible beings.  Most importantly, my yoga body loves deeply & passionately.  It longs for the embrace of my lover,  to join in with the joyful laughter of my children, and to hold the hands of my mother & father as their own bodies change with age.

This is a promise to my yoga body.  A promise to love it, to treat it with kindness and compassion.  To keep it healthy and strong.   To do my best to nurture this temple with positivity, and acceptance of each and every passing moment.   A promise to give my body the gift of my soul’s presence so that I can train it to express and show the world my authentic self, to let my light shine brightly through my eyes and through my words every day.   And don’t worry yoga body - I will give you chocolate, plenty of chocolate, that you can be assured.   Until the day you can no longer house me and I must move on - you will drink the sweet ambrosia of my love.

The Power of the Mind - Why yoga compliments your fitness program & your life.

In the book, “Autobiography of a Yogi”, Paramahansa Yogananda recounts a story about a time his guru helped him heal from an illness.   He was very sick and had lost a lot of weight and he visited his guru and asked for help with the illness.  His guru told him that his mind had the power to heal his illness and if he just thought himself well, he would be well.   The next day, he felt much better.  He asked his guru what he had done to him,  his guru replied,  “nothing" and said that perhaps things would change the following day and he would be unwell again.   The next day he felt sick again and his guru explained again how his mind could heal him and told him that he was well again.  That day, Yogananda went home and much to his family’s surprise he had not only gotten better, but had also gained back the weight he had lost during his illness.

An almost unbelievable tale of self healing that can give us a glimpse into the untapped power of the human mind.    How is such supernatural power possible?   The yogis believe that through a dedicated practice of yoga (particularly meditation), super natural powers can be obtained.  Western yoga has never claimed to offer super natural powers - we practice yoga for a multitude of reasons the most common being the physical aspect of the practice.   Very rarely do we dig much deeper than just a little bit of coping with discomfort on our mat.

When we think about yoga it is the postures that come to mind.   Yet, yoga is more than just tree pose.   It is a system.   A science of cultivating an inner state of stillness that allows the practitioner to recognize the truth of who they are.   Supernatural powers?  Probably not going to happen in my lifetime even with dedicated practice.   Although,   realization of an unending, unchanging sense of happiness most certainly can - and this is how I approach yoga.  Both in my own practice and in my teaching.

Which brings me to my topic.   Why and how yoga compliments your fitness program.    Of course, supernatural powers to will your body into instant svelte shape and well being would certainly be useful - unfortunately,  this is probably not going to happen for you.   Most certainly not under my tutelage.   So, we will have to lower our expectations of our yoga practice.

Like I said, yoga is a system.   In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjoli describes 8 limbs of yoga.   This is the system.   The first 2 limbs are the Yama & Niyama rules - moral observances.   Consider these a guideline to living a more conscious life.    The yama and niyamas is where it all begins.   Once you know them, you can’t unknow them.   And so, you begin to integrate them.

Yama Rules:
1. Ahimsa - non violence.   This means exactly what is says.   Don’t hurt others, or yourself.
2. Satya - truth.   Be honest
3. Asteya - don’t steal.   (this means actual theft, but also talking too much or being late could be considered stealing as well)
4. Brahmacharya - sexual restraint.  Don’t go overboard.  On anything.
5. Aparigraha - non aquisitiveness.  Don’t be greedy.   Don’t take more than you need.

Niyama Rules:
1. Saucha - cleanliness.   Take good care of yourself.
2. Santosha - contentment.   It is what it is.
3. Tapas - work hard.
4. Svadhyaya - Self study.   Get to know yourself.  Read books that can help you understand yourself better.
5. Ishvara pranidhana - Surrender to something greater than yourself.

It’s all pretty much here.   And this is why I think yoga is a wonderful compliment to your fitness program.

Ahimsa - Don’t go overboard.   More is not always better.   Take your rest days.  Listen to your body.  Fuel properly.

Satya - Get honest with yourself about your goals, and your reasons for your fitness journey.  If you for one second believe you will be happier once you are fit, thin, strong - you need to rethink your reasons.   You will be healthier.    Happiness is cultivated along the way,  and in fact your basic nature is happiness - it is never not there for you in any given moment! More about that later.

Asteya - Go to your classes.    Your instructors time is important, and they want you to be in class on time and ready to participate.

Brahmacharya - This one is a great one for those on a weight loss or fitness journey.   Restraint.   Traditionally this means restraint sexually, particularly for men with regard to ejaculating too often.  But, let’s take a bit of a lululemon spin on this one for the purpose of this article.   Remember the Brahmacharya bag with the money, needles, booze, etc in the lettering?  In terms of restraint, practicing brahmacharya can help you moderate your life particularly with regard to over eating, over internetting, over tv’ing, over exercising.    I’m not one of those, “everything in moderation” type people - that gets tiresome, and is a ridiculous notion because poison certainly isn’t good in moderation.   This yama can assist you with being mindful with any sort of consumption.   That is a good thing.

Aparigraha - You probably don’t need that second helping of dinner, do you?

Saucha - Eat clean.   Real food.  No shakes, no gimmicks.  Just eat real food.

Santosha - Another good one.   Thing is.   Life is good.  And life can outright bloody well suck.   Santosha is the practice of being okay with either.   It’s not complacency, if you can change things you should do it (see tapas).  It’s understanding that what will be will be.   You will have good days on your fitness journey, and you will have days where you want to eat twinkies and lay in bed all day.   There is really no reason to beat yourself up.... Ahimsa,   Remember?  All of these yama and niyamas work together and compliment one another.    You had a bad day.   Don’t dwell or linger on all of the negative thoughts you have running around in your head.   Santosha is your practice of taking a deep breath and moving forward with a sense of well being.    Did your husband get tied up at work and you ended up missing your workout and you ate pizza for dinner?   Again, not something to dwell on.    This is what happened.   Tomorrow it can be different.   Or maybe it won’t be.  Maybe you will injure yourself and be unable to return to the gym.    This is the practice.   It is about being okay with what is.   Exactly how it is.    If you struggle with this one, pick up Byron Katie’s book “Loving what is” and do "the work".   Life changing.

Tapas - work hard.    Do. Your. Practice.    Don’t skip planned workouts.  Go to yoga.   Do the work.   This means practicing all the other yamas and niyamas as well.    Do your work.   Do it.  Watch this video if you need further clarification on this one:





Svadhyaya.  Get to know yourself.   You go into every single workout & every single yoga class exactly as you are.   What can you learn about yourself?   Do you quit when the going gets tough? Do you tend to over do things? How can you apply the other yama & niyama rules to this?  Getting real with yourself is important because you can begin to identify self limiting thought patterns.   You will begin to recognize how you sabotage yourself, and perhaps others.  Once you know, you can change.  There are many spiritual texts to help you understand yourself, your ego, and ultimately your true nature as love & happiness.

Ishvara Pranidhana - Surrender to something greater than oneself.    Your understanding of God.  In the yoga tradition, God is within.   We can understand God as the Divine, Grace, Love, Happiness, Truth.   This is where I think we can really begin to experience yoga as a facilitator of any goal, any earthly desire.   When you recognize that you ARE love,  anything you desire, anything you seek - you are already that thing.   The practice of yoga is a practice of uncovering this true nature.    We practice the postures, breathing exercises, and meditation in order to achieve a stillness in the mind that allows us to recognize that we are something far greater than our thoughts.   We are the stillness beyond thought.   Understanding this concept has been made easier for me through reading (self study) Eckhart Tolle’s writing - if you are feeling curious.   What you'll realize is that you don’t need to be thin, strong, or in fact even be healthy in order to understand your true self.   That attaining a goal on the scale is not going to bring you happiness.    And, fact is,your goals will be meaningless when you achieve them if you have not first cultivated stillness and peace within.   You will just move on to the next thing - the next goal - the next big purchase - the next whatever - seeking without, something that is only found within.    Yoga helps us realize that happiness is an inside job.

Which brings me to the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th & 7th limb of yoga - which is our hatha yoga practice.      Limb 3,  is asana.   Patanjoli meant sitting, as in sitting for meditation.   But, western yogis have decided this should also include the postures we know as yoga.    So, this is what I am going to also refer to as the 3rd limb of yoga.  The practice of postures we do on the mat.   The 4th limb is pranayama.  Control of the breath.   The 5th limb is sense withdrawal,  moving inward.  The 6th limb is dharana or concentration - this is the pathway toward a meditation practice, fixing the mind on a single object.   The 7th limb is meditation, which is an uninterrupted flow of concentration, a quietening of the mind without distraction.    (The 8th limb is complete absorption or liberation, enlightenment -  not something I’m teaching at your gym or my studio for that matter.  We would be lucky to achieve fleeting moments of meditative stillness. ).

When you go to a yoga class your practice will probably consist mostly of asana (postures) and pranayama (breathing) and possibly some meditation (either sense withdrawal or concentration techniques).    It is through the physical practice that we begin to undo our habitual patterns of body & mind.   This habitual patterning can take the form of tightness or tension, pain, injury, loss of sensation, anxiety, stress, depression, or illness.   As you practice you'll begin to create a relationship with your body that can help us undo this patterning (hence the tapas, we work hard to undo what we can and practice santosha to help us accept what is unable to change).  As a result, energy flows more freely in the body mind.  Over time, you'll begin to hold less tension, in both the body & the mind, particularly in your thought patterns which can help you to better practice the yama & niyama rules.   See, these limbs not only work sequentially but also cyclically and complimentarily.   It is only through dedication that you’ll begin to notice that yoga has the power to change your relationship with life.  Through an improved relationship with the body mind, yoga compliments not only your fitness routine but also assists you in transforming your life so that you can recognize your natural state of happiness.    It’s not going to be easy,  I can tell you all about that too someday - it’s a practice, and it may take this lifetime or several lifetimes.  But, like I said, once you know the path - you can’t unknow it.   You can opt to ignore it, but why wouldn’t you want to leap right in?

Later, after describing the 8 limbs in the Yoga Sutras, Patanjoli goes on to describe the super natural powers that I mentioned above in the story of Yogananda’s guru.    The mind is a powerful tool - with limitless potential.   Yoga can be a tool that will help you to harness your mind, to become more conscious & present in your day to day life.   What an incredible gift we can give to those we share our lives with!  The really great thing about yoga though, is that you can ignore all the stuff I’ve just said, just throw it all out,  come to a class and still receive immense benefit from the practice.   You will notice improved mobility, greater strength, and a feeling of calmness as a result of your time on the mat.   That alone, is worth coming to yoga for.   But, if you begin to live yoga, to really adopt the teachings into your life - yoga is a pathway toward, as Georg Feuerstein calls it, “radical transformation" - and as MC Yogi says, “the most radical thing you can do is take one conscious breath”.   In that moment of noticing the inhale & exhale, you are present - and there is no past, no future - just now.   And NOW is exactly perfect as it is, every single time.   Try it.   It could change your life.

Reverence: a summer of practicing astanga yoga.

I’ve been teaching yoga full time for about four years now.   And have been practicing for about six.    You could say I’m a teacher & practitioner of no fixed tradition.   In our training we called ourselves “yoga pirates” - borrowing from all traditions, piecing together classes & practices with aspects taken from an open exploration of all avenues of yoga.  We always had a guiding principle of Iyengar alignment as a background to our exploration - and so when in doubt, I would refer to "Light on Yoga" or “Yoga the Iyengar Way” for alignment & sequencing ideas.   Thankfully, I’m an avid student of yoga and have been able to piece together classes that have been educational, meaningful and explorative for my students

About 18 months ago after leaving the studio in which I trained, I began practicing in an Astanga studio.   Not long after, I began teaching in this studio.  During the time I worked at the astanga studio, I went to a handful of astanga classes but did not commit to the practice.   I felt the practice “wasn’t for me”.   I couldn’t imagine committing to a practice that was the same day in and day out, full of postures I felt uncomfortable in, or that I wasn’t very good at.   Eventually, I left the studio as our family moved to a nearby rural community and I opened up a small backyard studio.

I thought having a backyard studio would be a wonderful way for me to build a disciplined practice.  Except, every time I got on the mat I wasn’t sure what my practice actually was.   I’d work through flow sequences, maybe do a little bit of yin or restorative.   I felt my practice weakening, and my desire to get on the mat wained as did my passion for teaching.

This summer, I decided to head back to the studio and give astanga a try.   I remember the first practice (well, the first 10 or so really) so clearly.  I spent the entire time wondering why on earth I had decided to practice astanga.   I resisted so much of the practice.   I was not good at it.   I didn’t like all the poses.   How could someone who has been teaching for 4 years struggle so much with a single practice?    My ego was crushed.   I’ve been teaching, and practicing for 4 years.  Borrowing the things I LIKED from various yoga traditions.   I was GOOD at what I taught, and the poses I enjoyed practicing.

The thing about astanga - is that it doesn’t change.   Ever.    You always do Janu Sirsasana A, B, C.   You always do Marichyasana A, B, C, D.   Even if you don’t want to.   There’s always Urdhva Dhanurasana waiting for you, or uplithi waiting patiently at the end of practice when you’re feeling tired and sore.   You know what is coming, and you accept it.  Sometimes I feel a little bit like Mr. Bean singing with the chorus in church:

The poses I know and like, I rock those out.  The others I just murmur my way though, hoping I’m flying under the radar so that I don’t have to repeat or do them again (*cough* chakrasana).    Because, in all my years of yoga piracy - this is what I have learned to do.   Take the stuff that resonates (read: the stuff that feels good) and leave the rest (read: the stuff that I don’t like to do).  The thing is - when you practice astanga yoga - you begin to realize that the reason why the practice doesn’t change is so that when you change, you notice that you have changed.   What felt downright horrid on that first day practicing astanga is feeling better.   My relationship to the postures, ability, body change every single practice and trust me, it is NEVER linear progression.    My teacher says that astanga is a practice that cultivates relationship.  Relationship with practice (the commitment loyal astangis make to getting on the mat 6 days a week),  relationship to the mind, relationship to the body.   We are learning that the body may be one way one day, and totally different another.   And that it’s okay for the body to be that way.   We feel when we have practiced without humility.  We feel when we haven’t worked to our edge.   Because the postures that we practice NEVER CHANGE.  We notice clearly when our relationship to the postures does change.  This is how we get to know ourselves through asana practice.  

I’m a flow teacher.    I flow.   There is great value in what I teach.  I teach beautiful, mindful movement linked with breath.   My students undergo a transformation that is valid, meaningful and purposeful.   I’m not writing this to discredit anything I have practiced or taught.   I’m writing this because I’ve taught this practice without truly understanding the reason & depth of meaning behind the practices I've mindlessly “borrowed” from.   What I have learned has given me greater regard and appreciation for what I use in my own sequencing and teaching.

The flow practice changes every single time I teach.   I might keep a sequence for a week - but then out it goes.     I used to teach this way out of an irreverent disregard for traditional yoga practices, for set sequences.   I have said, “I could NEVER teach, let alone practice the same sequence all the time - I like my somewhat random yet thoughtfully pieced together sequences inspired by the likes of Meghan Currie, Sadie Nardini, Shiva Rea, Krishnamacharyia, and other teachers I have studied along the way. “

There are several reasons to get on the mat.   One reason is to embody the human form artfully and with grace.   Flow allows such embodiment.   Another reason is to take your body mind and create shifts, changes, growth through dedication to practice.   And it is in this realization that I am beginning to feel reverence for, and trust in yoga (particularly the 8 limbed path of astanga yoga) as a system, as a science.    I’ve begun looking toward the 8 limbs as a pathway for cultivating authenticity and conscious living.   I’ve begun looking at the time I spend on the mat as a way to break through into places I am reluctant to go.   Discomfort happens for a reason.    Practicing at the edge of discomfort is the only way to unlock what the body is holding on to, and potentially creating real change - shifting to a new way of being.   When we only do the poses we like, we miss this important growth opportunity.

Traditional yoga is sequenced, repetitive, and challenging for a reason.   Sharon Gannon says it best when she says “through repetition the magic is forced to arise” - and of course, Pattabhi Jois also sums this up beautifully with “do your practice, and all is coming”

I no longer consider myself a yoga pirate.   I’m more of a yoga seeker.   One who is not looking to maim, murder and steal my practice from others.  Instead I am a voyager,  a yoga traveller who is gazing in at the yoga tradition with reverence, humility and respect for the teachers, gurus and practitioners who are also on this same journey toward the self.    I may not have a fixed tradition, no foothold or grounding, but I have curiosity and the utmost respect for the many ways in which people decide to practice yoga on and off the mat.    And this is what I’m going to share with you when you come to my classes.   A devotional love for this practice, and for all those who are on this path.

I’m looking forward to sharing my evolving practice with you this fall.   See my website robinhiltonyoga.com for details on where you can attend one of my classes.

Travelling the Road Home...

We moved to Indian Head a year ago looking for a place to settle down, a community in which we could raise our children - something we could call “home”.    We found all of these things in Indian Head, including a space in which I could teach yoga - a home for Surya Yoga.   We opened Surya Yoga in September of 2014 without a physical space, instead teaching in the Grand Theatre,  Indian Head’s home for Arts and Culture.   We then moved to the former home of Sherry’s Boutique for a month before settling into our more permanent home in our backyard studio at 1010 Water Street.   

Another reason we moved to this town was to be closer to my mom and dad whose idea it was to move to Indian Head.    When we initiated the move, mom was experiencing some difficulty with her memory and since we have moved, she has been diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease, and has experienced significant decline in her memory over this past year.    We feel blessed to be next door so that we can spend time with mom and dad, and provide some degree of support as they move on with this very difficult stage of their lives.   

Mom just came over to our house about an hour ago wondering if I had the phone number for her home, and could I call Ron (my dad) for her.    And it struck me.    She was not remembering that her current house is her home. That the man in the house with her was Ron, or that I was their daughter.   I tried to explain to her by showing her photographs - but in the end, I knew that my explanation could not sort through the confusion in her mind.   Home is a construct of the mind.    It is impermanent and changing.    And to each person, home is something different.   To my mom, home is a memory that her brain is struggling to make sense of.   

To many, home is an impossible luxury.    Too many displaced, homeless, disadvantaged beings do not have a physical space they can comfortably call a home.    

Home, as defined above,  is something that is outside of ourselves.  So, what does it really mean to come home?   I’ve been listening to MC Yogi’s song, “Road Home” lately (see video posted above) and the lyrics have been running around my mind as a mantra as I contemplate the idea of what it means to be or go home.    Home, in the physical sense is a luxury, but home in the metaphysical sense is always with us.   Home is our natural state of being,  home is who we truly are.   

Our culture values the physical home.    The ownership.   The home that exists outside of ourselves.   And indeed, we do all need a place to lay our head at the end of the day so that we may rest.  But, the idea of home is abstract, and home is the journey of our lifetime.    

We can be displaced, we can lose our memory, we can purchase ourselves a mansion or a building to call home, we can be rich or we can be poor.   We can have one home or many, we can have a home for our businesses, we can live on the streets.    And through all of this, we can remember that home is not ever outside of ourselves,  we are never truly home-less.    

And so, how do we find the road home? 

Each conscious breath is a return home.   Each moment we are present is a moment we are at home.    

I am truly grateful for my physical home here in Indian Head, for my incredible space to share the teachings of yoga - and for all the spaces I have felt at home in through my life.    I am privileged as most of us are to have always had a sense of belonging to a home.   I can be happy, not because I have a physical roof over my head or a studio to teach yoga in,  but because I recognize that I have always been home.    And always will be.    

Please join me in one of  many yoga spaces (homes) as we navigate the road to our true home together.    Home, truly is, where the heart is... and is so much more than a physical space.   Visit robinhiltonyoga.com for information on class times and places.   I teach in Indian Head, Katepwa Beach, Fort Quapelle, and in the city of Regina.    

“God Bless every child travelling the road home...’ - MC YOGI

The Value of Instayoga ( and a few thoughts on personal “yogic” evolution)

Those of you who know me, know that I am a big fan of @yogagirl,   I get a little giddy looking at  @laurasykora,@patrickbeach, @kinomcgregor @sadienardini, @mynameisjessamyn or my personal fave @meghancurrieyoga.   I have an Instagram account, and a large number of the people I follow are yoga teachers or practitioners.  They post photos of ridiculously fantastic asana, the occasional post of them looking thoughtful and meditative, and always a little bit of yogic wisdom, some kind of thoughtful inspiration.   They use catchy & trendy hashtags, post challenges, promote clothing, show photos of their yummy organic whole foods vegan lunches.   All in all, they image craft the ideal “yogic” lifestyle.   Sometimes, like Yoga Girl Rachel Brathen , they get real and post about their dark moments, their fears, tragedies and insecurities.   Rachel Brathen also coined the popular instagram yoga hashtag #yogaeverydamnday that has accompanied many of my instagram photographs.   It’s a pretty great hashtag that generally comes along with a lot of feel good likes and follows whenever I use it.  

This is the world of the Instayogacelebrity.   This is western yoga at it’s finest.   Cleverly marketed yoga sold en mass to receptive yoga audiences.    Of course there is a backlash from those who disagree with yoga being sold in this way.  They cry, “but it’s not all about the asana!! they aren’t representing REAL yoga”.    Looking through any of the above listed feeds, it might appear that the instayogi is focused on doing yoga postures alone.   These are committed practioners who clearly take their time on the mat seriously, it is not without hours of daily practice that they are able to accomplish such impressive postures.   We don’t often see into the behind the scenes making of an insta yogi, and it all looks so effortless and flawless on the surface.   I’m not sure how many followers they would have if they posted photos of their meditation or pranayama practices instead of the asana.   Truth is, the impressive stuff sells the yoga.

And this is where I come back to the title of this piece, “The Value of Instayoga”.    It is in the “sales pitch” they do.  They reflect a desirable image, a lifestyle that is healthy & happy.   We follow by the millions because we like that image.  We like what that image is telling us about yoga, about what yoga can do for us.   It is through the instayoga that we may be inspired to go to a yoga class, read a book about yoga, start meditating, try a new posture, work hard at a posture we thought we were unable to practice because... Yoga every damn day!  It’s inspiring.    And we think, “I want that, I want to do yoga so that I can be happy”.  

We all know that yoga postures themselves don't make us happy.   But, it’s a start!  It’s a pretty fantastic start actually.  And if we simply just went to a class now and then because we like the image yoga girl presents, that can be a very positive thing.   I know how much yoga has impacted my life, and have seen it create positive shifts in many lives just with attending one or two classes a week.

Author David Deida has a wonderful tool for understanding levels of consciousness.  His work centres around human sexuality but it can be applied to the evolution toward enlightened behaviour in any type of activity.   There are three stages, they are all valuable, some are more enlightened than others, and we can flow between stages.   He describes the third stage as openness and quite obviously the place one might want to spend most of their time in particularly in relationship with one’s partner.     The first stage is “me” centered - what can you do for me?  How can I benefit from this?   This stage is often felt when one is hungry, “I’m hungry, I need to eat”.   The Instayogi has the ability inspires stage 1 behaviour in the viewer.    I like that pose, she looks happy, I want to do that pose and be happy - I am going to try yoga.

Yoga has this wonderful ability to catch the conscious thinker and bring them into a greater conscious awareness.   Some people may spend their entire practice life in stage 1.   They feel good physically and emotionally, and so they keep going to yoga.   Postures and possibly meditation are the extent of the practice.   The stage 1 yogi  will probably feel happier, and will be more productive in their day to day life.  If yoga wasn’t useful for a stage 1 yogi, they would find a new teacher, or quit practicing.   They may post a lot of yoga selfies, and work very hard to accomplish difficult yoga postures because that is what feels good to them.   They may vehemently defend their “style” of yoga - not understanding that others might receive benefit from different approaches.  

Over time, as consciousness evolves the yogi may move on to stage two.   In stage two the yogi begins to take others into consideration.   This might be where the yoga leaves the mat, and begins to impact relationships.   The yogi might become more conscious in his/her action, acting more compassionately toward others.   They may begin to notice small things like a piece of garbage on the ground and feel compelled to pick it up rather than walk past it in their hurry to get to class.   They may also consider sharing yoga with others and sign up for a teacher training program.   In stage two, my needs are satisfied but I want to make sure your needs are also met.  This is where most people tend to reside, and most yogis I have met (including myself most of the time) are quite content in stage two.   This is a good place to be, and without stage 2 we would have a world without activism.  Strongly defending one’s belief in equality and fairness is the only defence against injustice in a world full of unconscious stage 1 governments & corporations.      

In stage two, a yogi might become so concerned with others that they feel it is important to defend or become critical of other yoga styles.   It starts out with worrying about the safety of students - worried that particular styles of yoga or particular teachers or even instayogis are not practicing “real” yoga or are pushing themselves too hard and it is our duty to get involved and defend those who are at risk.   Sometimes the defending goes so far that it becoming defensiveness, and in defending their position, the stage 2 yogi becomes a stage 1 yogi.  Ego gets in the way #everydamnday.   I see it all the time on Facebook!

There is nothing wrong with stage 1 or stage 2.  They are valuable at times.   David Deida often says we have moments in any stage but it is our goal to be practicing in stage 3.  

Stage 3 is about devotion & selfless service.  To openly offer the gift of yoga (presence without barriers) without expectation of anything in return.    Practicing yoga (presence) becomes effortless, because the stage 3 yogi is living yoga both on and off the mat.   This yogi would recognize their own collapse when feeling threatened and instead of defending, arguing or fighting back they would love through that discomfort.    Why would you want to live any other way?   There is a freedom in allowing and not resisting each and every moment.  There is freedom in not fighting when we feel personally threatened.   There is freedom in not worrying about what is and isn’t REAL yoga. There is freedom in living every moment consciously aware of remaining open and present.   It is here we realize that we were already happy, in fact our true nature is happiness.   This is the practice, this is how we LIVE yoga.    And while this seems very idealistic and fantastical - it is a state of mind.   One might call it enlightenment.   It is not to say that shitty stuff won’t happen and you won’t collapse or feel  horrible.  It is not to say that you won’t often flow between stages as needed.   It is to say that the practice is to try and remain here, to stay consciously open and to allow the yoga to shine through the shells made hard through patterning in the body mind.   It is an ongoing practice and perhaps what Pattabhi Jois meant when he said, “Do your practice, and all is coming”.  

You can’t have stage 3 without stage 1, or stage 2.   They are all part of the process.  We all have different ways of finding our way to stage 1, and I am quite grateful that the Instayogi exists to start people out on their yogic journey.   There are many different paths to enlightened living, and yoga is one of them.    Great teachers, hard work, dedication, mindful awareness, and a little bit of insta- inspiration go a long way to help us along that path.