Flow & the physical practice of yoga.

I've been reading Michael Stone's book "The Inner Tradition of Yoga".  This paragraph sparked some interesting thoughts for me the other day as I was contemplating the experience of physical practice through the lens of masculine & feminine essence as explained by author, David Deida, who explores the yoga of sexuality in his writing.    

Stone writes,

If you look at experience, such a small percentage of it is either painful or pleasant - most is actually fairly neutral.  It's the neutral, plain, common moments of experience that we also want to tune into - stepping, lifting an arm, feeling a breath, and tilting the gaze.  It is hard to stay in neutral feeling tones, especially in such an entertainment-based culture.   Moving the body and being present in intentional movement teaches us how to receive experience on its own terms.  Otherwise, what is this practice in service of? (pg 135).

What is this practice in service of?  As a yoga instructor, I often think about the intention of my teaching.  What do I hope my students gain from coming to my classes?  My answer to this question is that ultimately, our practice is in service of svadhyaya - self study.   We come to the mat to better know ourselves.

When I roll out my mat, the familiar feeling of a downward dog, or a child's pose will always return me to my purpose in practice.   I am here to experience.  Experience the body, the breath, the mind.   This experience is always met with an openness and softness in the mind, and a keen interest in when the mind waivers or fluctuates from the receptive openness I am seeking to cultivate.   Which postures challenge me, which ones make me feel good, what is the dialogue when I feel challenged?  What is the dialogue when I'm not.  What are my stories?

Michael Stone writes that we should stay in neutral feeling tones, that our practice is a pursuit of receiving the experience as it is.  On it's own terms.  I am reminded of a line in the Bhagavid Gita when thinking about this approach to practice,

When the senses contact sense objects, a person experiences cold or heat, pleasure of pain.  These experiences are fleeting; they come and go.  Bear them patiently, Arjuna.  Those who are unaffected by these changes, who are the same in pleasure and pain, are truly wise and fit for immortality.  Assert your strength and realize this (14, Bhagavad Gita)

 We observe, and we remain unchanged by the experience.

Every time I approach my physical practice, I seek to experience.  To be constant despite the fluctuations occurring physically and in my thoughts  This is masculine essence.  To practice with this purpose is a masculine practice.   The masculine, according to Deida, is consciousness.  It is that which is "experiencing".  It is the part of you that is the witness, that listens but does not change.  The masculine sits back and watches.    We know that this is the goal of yoga according to Patanjali.   "Yogas citta vritti nirodhah".   Yoga is the stilling of the mind.

Yet, as someone who identifies more with the feminine essence, that which changes,  I know that feeling of being IN my body is what draws me to the mat.  One could argue, that it is the feminine essence that calls each of us to the physical practice.  I desire to be in my body, to move my body.  To breathe and to be fully immersed in the physical experience of yoga.   I WANT to experience the fluctuations of the body, the fluctuations in my thoughts in order to tap into the life force - that which is feminine.   According to Deida, femininity is everything that changes, it is nature.  The feminine dances.  

The flow between the changing experience of the practice and the unchanging witness to the practice is what makes physical yoga a valuable experience.   When I begin to flow through postures, I become deeply immersed in the experience of life. The balance between masculinity and femininity, between effort and ease, between movement & stillness.  We are playing with the essence of the human experience - we are experiencing life & death, everything and nothing.  And as we move, we observe and we reflect and we remain open to what the experience is revealing to us - self study.   The intention of of our physical practice should be to fully immerse in this experience - to feel the fluctuations that arise and to tap into the stillness that exists - recognizing that amidst the changing, the self doubt, the pride, and the pain,  there is a part of us that is unchanged.   Neutrality within the experience of  physical practice isn't all we should strive for.  We ought to experience the dance.  Flow.   Feel.   Be.

Namaste.